Blur

I wish the blur in my vision was caused by the smeared bug across my windshield this morning. Or the smudge I made when I bumped my glasses close to my eyelashes. Walking down the street blinking
profusely to clear my vision and to no avail it remains fuzzy at best.
Unless you stand three feet in front of me I can only identify you by
your stand, your built or your walk and if I can hear you by your
laugh. That is great cause for joy it seems cause it could be night
all day every day...(kicking the pebble on the ground as a single tear
sneaks down the side of my face and I force a smile for the day.)

My sweet valentine

The ink bleeds through the pores of the paper as I hold the tip waiting for the inspiration to hit me like an earth quake of words.  The pen bleeds as I hold it and as I get lost in the song playing on Pandora at my desk. Adele singing "Rolling In The Deep". My thoughts jumping back to the musician that temporarily occupies my frontal temporal lobe. Out of the normal at a local blues lounge we re-enacted what used to be the good days of our on and off, hot and cold, love and hate relationship. Just for one night his hugs were welcomed once again, his kisses were sweet and my body accepted his touch  and I enjoyed his attention. His unshaven face and my favourite dimple were temporary comfort to me, but before completely losing all my sense and falling over the edge of regret. I said good night, good bye my almost lover. The sweet kisses you shared I know full well belong to your pastors daughter. Good bye my love, I wish it would have worked out for you and I. But before I leave you, I need my heart back. I'm ready to move on and you've held on to it just way too long. Thank you for sharing some kisses and blues for one last time this Valentine.

Gappy from Detroit...

Totally random dinner invitation, which was a long over due thank you dinner; for a kind gesture done a year before. It was flautas and cervezas for him and sweet eye candy for me. January 2012 rolled around and a few weekends after three shows at Second City turned into midnight rendezvous to random churches, shady taco stands with tamborazo Mexican music and men with 10 gallon hats. Sunday service at a beautiful church and some Ulta shopping for my hair products as he sipped on his morning coffee made just for him by me. January was amazing indeed and I got to share those weekends in January with Gappy from Detroit. Our last night, he left his footprint in the ground and I held on to his hug just a little longer, proud to have shared his talent and support. Excited that last night I shared my thoughts with a cup of passion tea at the local 24 hour starbucks until almost 4am.  Yes indeed it was an amazing start to 2012. The hardest part to digest is no more hot neighbor sightings to share. (Turshi - God bless you, lol)

It is on life support.... Maybe there is a miracle.

A simple comment can inspire me, a memory can quickly transport me to another moment in a time of my life. A song will trigger a certain special moments, someone's face or words. A stranger on the bus has also conjured mental pictures I'd stored away a long time ago. I am a day dreamer and my moments of thought end up on a processed tree turned paper. Today I reminisced the beginning of 2008. A whirl wind romance shot and almost dead after three years and held on life support after four years and still counting. At some point I must make the tough decision to unplug. At the moment I still sit and day dream of what was and could have been. Really, what's wrong with dreaming of a positive outcome. We forget there are miracles. Life support is an aide as I hold on for the miracle. I won't decide if this love will live or die. I can only sit close by and go about my life but checkin on the patient and wait for that miracle with no specific expectations, accepting all outcomes whatever it may be. I'll sit and just keep day dreaming.

Not in boxes with pretty bows

What I wanted for valentines, or want for my birthday, Christmas or any holiday worthy of a gift does not come in boxes with pretty bows. I want my man to fix the leaky faucet, to make me tea and soup or both when I feel sick.  To top off the wind shield fluid and get the oil changed to my car.  That he will move my furniture each time I get the crazy idea to redecorate; one to tell me how beautiful I am first thing in the morning.  I want him so I can snuggle in his arms while I watch a movie and as we share popcorn.  I want to be able to fill his belly with delicious foods and fill our house with his and my energy. I can't find that in a Hallmark isle or at the Macy's seasonal section.  I simply seek the man who says a prayer before making decisions and gives his life and heart to God above all, try and package that Hallmark!

His Chicken Stew - A Poem to me by I. Padilla

To the woman that makes me feel like there is nothing I cannot overcome

For you are my treasure and my synonym

Many things this world has to offer and perhaps come true

But none of it matters if it is not shared with you

Yours lips are made of honeydew

They kiss me but there is nothing I can do

Paralyzed in this moment I become

Knowing that this passion cannot be undone

Your fingers through my hair

This feeling I cannot bare

Words will never be enough

To express my entire love

And in the end all that is left is you

The secret ingredient in my chicken stew

Not Rated-PG 13

In a lightly lit room on a bed of soft silk you reach to touch my shoulder.  Slowly slide your hand up and down and found your way to the tender spot of my bosoms.   Gently you rubbed with the tips of your fingers.  Your other hand was placed on my back which was working its' way to the bare skin.  My hands reacted and reached for your chest.  I placed them on your pounding heart.  I felt it’s beat and I felt your warmth.  Your lips were lightly kissing my neck as I moaned in pleasure.  I kissed you by the ear and whispered sweet nothings.  Slowly very slowly you unhooked the clips in the front of my bra and with both hands you caressed my breast.  Then lifted me and sat me on top of you with my legs wrapped around your waist.  I kissed your neck some more and my hands ran all through your back.  While I sat on you, I took your shirt completely off and your removed all that was getting in your way.  Slowly and tenderly once again you lifted me to place me on the bed and you hovered above me.  Your hands now explore my whole naked body.  While mine were reaching at what would give me the eternal pleasure between my thighs.  Your pants fell and we don’t know where they went.  You kissed me all over while I rubbed you.  You arched your back in delight and I moaned rather slightly.   You stared down and hard into my eyes and we understood each others needs right there and then.  Your lips found their way to my lips.  We kissed for what seemed for hours, while our hands did a thing of their own.  I felt you fingers enter me ever so pleasingly and my back arched up that my breast hit hour chest.  You snuck your hand up my back while the other worked down below.  I led your hand away so that I could kiss you all over, I wanted to please you ever so.  I kissed your chest and slowly slid down and ever so tenderly I placed my lips on your cock; and slid my lips all the way until I made it disappear in my mouth.  While you felt the warmth of my lips and breath I moved slowly up and down and kissed and you all over, I licked it with tenderness and caressed it.  You slid your hand down to the back of my head and led me to your liking.  I ate it up like cotton candy, ever so sweetly, while my hand ran over what my mouth couldn’t cover. Up and down your chest and around your arms and outer thighs.  My mouth covered ever bit of skin that you hid with your clothes.  Through all this your hands explored my naked body.  In a quick moment you didn't resist and I was once again on my back while you positioned yourself on top 69 and kissed me with a rush of passion.  I felt your tongue enter, and your lips controlled my moans and how my hands held on to you.  You took over my whole body with your lips.  During the whole ordeal  your hands continued to rub and caress me between my legs on my things and my bare bottom.  You hands possessed my body and all I could do was lay on the bed powerless being pleased to the extreme.  I don't know how you found your way back to my lips but you kissed me with such force that both our bodies were feeling for each other.  With your powerful hands you opened my legs and entered me with such need.  I ached with pleasure and out of somewhere our bodies built a simultaneous rhythm as you went in and out.  Our lips found our bodies and we continued to dance in the same rhythm.  The bedroom felt like an eternal inferno and our bodies continued to build a fire.  Our bodies were so close that we became one, of how close we and how deep you were in.  We rolled around the bed and I sat on top, my body moved in a wave like motion as you were inside me.  Your hands took hold of my breast, you sat up and kissed them, ate them like you would melting ice cream.  Your hands held me at my bottom and you moved me up and down.  I felt the warmth and the pleasing of your hard penis. I felt a piercing pain come inside and more and more I wanted you to enter me, faster and faster you entered and exited.  Our lips found one another and we almost disappeared  inside each other.  We built a heat we could no longer hold and your body stiffened and your head fell back a bit with a groaned in pleasure and your warmth rushed inside of me.  I was in a trance as you let it go, my body shivered in your hands and I held you so close.  Our moment reached its peak and we both let all our emotions speak.  You had found your way on top and I laid beneath you in silence.  Absorbing all you and I had put each other through.